The Fear of Regeneration
by Professor Blazer
Summary: I was just curious how The Doctor must have felt during a regeneration. The fear, anger, denial, and the over all change


_Rose…_

He watched the female head on into her lot and disappear from sight

_Hell of a reward…_

On the way back to the TARDIS the man's legs gave out on him dropping to his knees. Hearing a voice not really familiar, but recognizable. Glancing up to see the blurry image of a man shorter than himself with one hell of a chin and was that a BOWTIE? Blinking to reassure of the man's presence this time he saw an Ood. There was a patch of silence, the breath of the man was the only can be heard.

_I'm afraid, I don't want to…_

"We will sing to you doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep…"

He struggled to his feet, but manages. The Stance seems all too familiar. Could it be the very same when this version of him entered?

_Can't change here…no, must get inside…_

He grit his teeth and fought the pain aching through his body, with a solitary stance he limp into his box with his head held high

"This song is ending, but the story never ends..."

The closer he got to his box the pain grew more intense and his face showed getting hotter and hotter. Deep down the man felt a rage, not at the Ood, or Rose, defiantly not Wilfred, but at himself for being so careless and selfish to a man that deserves more respect. With key in hand he unlocked the door to his box and slides into it

_Safety…_

{Thank you. It's good. Keep warm..}

Closing and locking behind him he rested on the door pausing. Emptiness, no welcoming smile or comment from Donna nor Martha. Just the echoes of the time engine ready for his command.

{You can't do this to me! No, no, no!}

Without realizing it the voice to his thoughts changed to a familiar raggedy voice.

_Just us again…_

He makes his way, limping to the control panel slipping out of his jacket and tossing onto a coral branch of the TARDIS. Within his peripheral he catches his hand glowing with an aura of gold the life energy of a Time Lord. Examining both sides of his hand slightly curling the hand close but not.

_Please….I don't…_

{No, don't cry. While there's life there's…}

He curls to a fist and looks onto the TARDIS, leaning onto the control panel and using it as support to limp in front of the navigation monitor and keyboard. With a few types and a pull of a lever he was off, the engines roar and the familiar wheezing echoed

[Anywhere in time and space….where do you want to start..?]

Looking up at the engine pumping within the glass cylinder 'Is that..?'

{The moment has been prepared for.}

[…Geronimo!]

His eyes began to water but he did not shed a tear and he finally understood whose voice was that?

_The new man that saunters away with my identity..._

{Feels different this time…}

He completes the loop around the console as he waits for the regeneration to brush him away…

[Like breathe on a mirror]

{Ohh… carrot juice?}

All of my struggles, adventures, defining moments, personality, everything…Gone.

He takes one final intake of air and a slow pan of the TARDIS main console room as he prepares to say good bye…

_I.._

_{_He's out there! He's out there… I know}

_No…not yet…_

_{_Physician, heal thyself.}

_I'm not ready…_

_{_Yes… Of course, I suppose it makes sense}

_Please…_

_{ABSOLUTELY _fantastic. And do you know what? So was I!}

With his final words he utters strong with fear but appetence

"**I don't want to go**."

The tear drops. The room goes silent and his body flows with the energy of his regeneration ready to burst out. With his last glance to his hand he shoots out his arms and lets it over take him the energy flowing through out him strong enough to disturb the temporal grace and cause the TARDIS to shake and get pulled back into Earth's gravity

_Allon-_"Ahhh..! "

Staggering to the shakes and tumble of the TARDIS

"Legs! I've still got legs! Good. Arms, hands. Ooh, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears? Yes. Eyes: two. Nose… eh, I've had worse. Chin – blimey! Hair… I'm a GIRL! No! No! I'm not a girl! And still not ginger! There's something else. Something… important, I'm… I'm-I'm… Ha-ha! Crashing!"

Doctor Who piece #1


End file.
